It’s official: the summer is here. The evidence: scorching hot weather, mosquito bites, evening strolls that smell of hay and literal bull shit, but on the positive side: sunlight sailing the inside walls of the living room at 8 PM. Gone are the days of being outside in the afternoon. Gone is the obligation to move the mower in a procession around the orchard trees every weekend, as the grass is no longer growing as fast. Now I rather wait for the evening to avoid the heat but not the armies of mosquitoes that feast on my blood.
As a recovering people pleaser myself this really resonates with me. It's very authentic and honest. Also I completely agree with your assessment of Summer. I am desperate for it all winter long and then instantly start wishing it away when the oppressive heat descends.
This is a great read. Very honest and authentic as always.
Also your realisation —-“I’m conflating being hard on myself and doing hard things. Not being hard on myself doesn’t mean that I don’t do anything hard anymore.” —- really resonated with me. Far too often, in some sort of attempt to not be so hard on myself, I slack off on doing the hard things that are good for me, and then I’m extra hard on myself for slacking off.